Monday, May 11, 2015

Man Attempts To Cash $368 Billion Check

Jeff Waters, a resident of Jacksonville, Florida, was not only planning to feed one-tenth of the American population, but he wanted to do it while providing them amazing scenery.

“I’m 10% Italian. Cooking authentic Italian food is in my blood. I had planned to make the restaurant 80 million square feet and able to accommodated [sic] 30 million eaters at once, plus it was gonna be totally underwater so people could look at sharks while they ate. But the bank wouldn't give me my money they owed me,” said Mr. Waters.

According to Mr. Waters, the U.S. Bank of Idaho owed him $368,000,000,000.00, because that’s what it said on the blank check that this guy name Tito sold him for $100.

“Tito said the check was good for any amount I wanted to write it for. So blame Tito, not me. I'm as innocent as a schoolgirl,” Mr. Waters commented.

Sources indicate that Mr. Waters had told bank officials that a homeless man by the name of Tito Watts had sold the blank check to him for $100 and it was good for any amount.

Waters is now charged with forgery, unlawfully carrying Chinese throwing stars, and the possession of bath salts.


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